Last night I had the privilege of getting my long time friend of 13 years on the mats with me. I have known Neng since I was 13 years old. He’s an author, Harvard Graduate, Wisconsinite, artist, and most recently a travel vlogger with Neng Now. Neng travels around the world, documenting everything he does, experiencing new things for the first time, and showing it to viewers around the world. I don’t think I can fully explain it right, but Neng can:

This is how Neng ended up coming to my gym last night, with the intention of trying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for the first time. Neng, unlike me, had an idea of what jiujitsu was before getting started having watched a documentary on Rickson Gracie and having a wrestling background in high school. We put him in a gi, taught him how tie his belt and bow on and off the mats, and let him go.

Class started like any class does, with everyone lined up at the front of the mats by rank, with Neng all the way at the other end from me.  Warm up consisted of a short running warm up and a game, along with some line drills. We then moved on to a sacrifice throw technique off of a modified Russian Tie. I helped Neng and his partner with the finer details of the move. His excitement and energy was absolutely contagious. Everyone makes fun of the white belt days, but that’s when all the magic is in jiujitsu. Every day you’d learn something new, and be enamored with learning how to move your body in new ways.

Neng was then separated for a basic introduction into jiujitsu with a few of the other new guys where he learned some basic positions and their names like guard, side control, mount, and back. Ending with back control, he learned his first submission, a rear naked choke. When asked what he learned, he couldn’t remember any of the names, but his excitement and enjoyment was plain to see. At our gym, with no experience we do not allow new people to roll until they have a little more experience for safety and practicality. Neng spent the sparring section of the class watching people with a childlike awe in his eyes.

After class my fiancé and I had a chance to give him a private on jiujitsu, teaching him some fun moves. Throughout the whole time, he had a childlike excitement. Afterwards we ended up rolling, and even as he’d tapped, he was laughing. Neng reminded me what jiujitsu was about. It’s not about you, but sharing it with others, using it to change other people’s lives. After all that’s why I started Women Who Roll.

Neng isn’t the first person I’ve brought on the mats, and he definitely won’t be the last. What was different about Neng, was how he articulated his experience for his followers. It reminded me of how I felt when I first found jiujitsu. It felt like magic. It was frustrating, exhilarating, amazing, and so many other things all at the same time. But above all it was humbling, and you realized how much you didn’t know. But Neng can describe his first time a little better than I can remember mine:

“This is definitely one of the most humbling things that I have EVER done – physically AND mentally. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I feel like I grew so much in just this one session – let me explain:
First off, I’m not ashamed at all to say that I got my butt absolutely kicked by a girl who is smaller, weighs less, and probably not as physically strong as I am in terms of brute strength – in fact, I’m even proud, because that girl was Katie, who I have been great friends with since age 12!!!
Luckily, because I was new today, I was not allowed to truly roll (sparring in BJJ terms) – thank goodness for that; it would not have been good for anyone. But after class, I was able to get a private lesson from Katie. And of course, me, having wrestled in high school, wanted to get in some sort of match…so we did…well, kind of but not really…because it actually just consisted of Katie toying with me before showing me she had me in an XYZ lock/choke/etc.
I’m both humbled by the control the coaches had on their own bodies as well as mine – it sounds magical, but it’s not; it’s just years and years, even decades of training! On one hand, it is a bit scary to be shown that someone could overpower me so easily. But on the other hand it’s also empowering to know that with a lot of practice and training, I could do the same, even despite being smaller/weaker/etc.
It was even hard for me to believe until today, but “you can be the strongest person, but if you don’t know technique, you’re gonna lose…” So that’s why I say it’s as much of a mental game as it is physical. I found my total perception and understanding of how my own body worked changed in those moments on the mat…so can’t help but think how decades of it would change me…
It is also humbling to be put in a situation where you feel absolutely helpless and frustrated – it shows you how much more you can learn – especially when it’s with something as fundamental as your own body.
I got intrigued about BJJ when first watching a FANTASTIC documentary about Royce Gracie and UFC. Royce Gracie, one of the smallest competitors won the first several UFC tournaments in the early 1990’s with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu beating out black belts in karate, tae kwon do, boxing, basically all other martial arts. Not only that, but Royce absolutely wiped the floor with opponents twice his size in less than a minute. It’s no surprise BJJ has become such a backbone of MMA. And today, I got to finally experience why first hand…and I could talk on and on and on about this, but I’ll leave it to that…
Go try some Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
That’s all for now 🙂“

The best thing about jiujitsu, is being able to share my love and passion for it. Imagine if we all shared jiujitsu with just one woman. Even if only a tenth of those actually came back and trained. Think about all the new training partners you could have. Share your passion, share you jiujitsu, and maybe we can see some more women on the mats. And like Neng would say, that’s all for now.